Why Lord, Why?

�David begged Him to spare the child and went without food, and lay all night before the Lord on the bare earth. The leaders of the nation pleaded with him to get up and eat with them, but he refused. Then on the seventh day, the baby died�� 2 Samuel 12:16-18 (TLB)

There is nothing, absolutely nothing, in the entire world that hurts more than the death of your child. In David�s case, he must have hurt even worse than the already terrible pain that comes when the natural order of things is turned on its head, when a parent must bury a child. David knew his child would die because of his adultery with Bathsheba, and the sinful way he tried to cover it up.

Most of the time, however, we don�t understand why God allows such a terribly painful thing to happen to us. As a father of a beautiful little red headed daughter named Bailey Nicole Davis, her mother and I held her as the life left her body, only three days after she was born. It was the most painful thing I ever experienced, and I have had over four surgeries done to my body. All of them put together did not even approach the bone �deep pain of losing Bailey. I tried to bargain with God; tried to trade my life for hers, got down on my knees in the hospital chapel, shut my eyes, and thought I might wake up in heaven.

But God�s plans were not my plans. I become angry with God. I told Him to turn back into a man, and come to earth so I could fight Him. Losing Bailey toppled an already shaky marriage, nearly cost me my life later, and sent it into a vortex of depression and grief it took three and a half years to begin to climb out of. I still do not know why, and never will in this lifetime. But God had a reason. Eventually I realized that the pain had made me more stable, and stronger. My beautiful daughter died in a state of innocence, long before the age of decision. I long for the time when I will be able to take her hand in mine, and stroll down the golden streets, for I know she waits for me, safe in the rocking chair of Jesus.